Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A Marathon, Not a Sprint

With a heavy heart and a plea for prayers, I am writing this post today.  My brother, who is a writer, posted a very straight forward and extremely honest post yesterday. I'm going to ask you to please go to his blog to get some background, before reading on any further. http://definingaudacity.com/2012/05/14/mothersdayhell

I AM NOT a writer so bare with me....Drew thought that writing would help. I could not find the "right words" so I am getting some of the truth from the only place I know where truth exists....The Bible.

I AM a girl who likes a quick fix, a sprinter, a "put a band aide on it" type. I ran a marathon (back in 1999) but would much rather run the 100 yard dash.

When we got the call last Wednesday night about my brother John using Meth, my thoughts popped right to...."How can we fix this? What is the quickest way to get help? He will be better soon, right? 30 days, right?"

If you read Drew's blog you know about the events that took place on Mother's Day. His description is very accurate, but what I didn't know at that time was that is was just the starting line. The race my family and I just begun is going to long and exhausting.  It will be a marathon, not a sprint.

A marathon takes preparation, healthy intake, and "having heart."
I'll start with preparation. How does one prep for a family member on meth? I copied a scripture down a few months ago, knowing I would need it at some time in my life....I just didn't know I would need it so soon.  It is from the book of Lamentations which is made up of 5 poems, all expressing grief over the fall of Jerusalem. This book in the bible has graphic depictions of suffering.

The suffering and grief my family has been through the last 5 days does not compare to a "fall of a city" but it may be the closest thing we will ever know!!! The suffering my brother John if facing as a result of the meth is profound....although he can't even see or feel it. This verse is for my sweet family, especially for John.

Lamentations 3:21-24
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."

The 2nd step to a successful marathon is "healthy intake." I spent the day after John's unsuccessful intervention very angry, sad, exhausted...basically heartbroken.  The intake from Sunday was anything but "healthy" which carried over into my day on Monday. My mind, heart and spirit were UGLY!!!! I made a promise to myself before I went to bed last night: to not just ignore evil and evil thoughts but to actively expel them, replacing them with God's word. My "healthy intake" will be the words spoken from God. I'll start with these words.

Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.

The third and final step- Having heart....that's the key to winning the race. A person can train and prepare but if the heart isn't in it, they won't even finish. My heart is in this.....although it was broken to pieces, it is not gone. I will gradually put the pieces back together with the help of my family and friends; with the prayers and kind words which have already come to me; with faith.  Please keep them coming!!!! I can't do it on my own. When my heart is weak, I'll need others to be strong for me!

2 Corinthians 12:9
...."My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Prayer is defined as an earnest or urgent request or a reverent petition to God.  MY FAMILY IS IN NEED OF PRAYER!!!! MG wrote this out for me this morning which I shared with a friend. My friend stated "The prayers we need to pray are simple, like this."

So I am asking for simple prayers.....
1) Pray for John, for clarity of the love our family has for him, that God has for him; that he will seek help; that he will stop using meth.
2) Pray for Koko (his wife) for strength and courage.
3) Pray for protection for our family from God's enemy!
4) Pray for strength and endurance for this marathon.
5) Pray for our sweet spouses- Mike, Tanya (Drew's wife) and Scott (Allie's husband)- that they will not get weary carrying some extra burden as our family is healing...all the while needing to grieve themselves.
6) Pray for me....."help me to love my family members well and to be thankful for them!!! Show me ways I can serve and love them better." Thanks MG!!!

John and Koko at Cal's christening.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

My Little Men

I haven't posted since December of 2010!!! I guess I've been busy living life, taking care of my little ones and starting my own practice. I received an email from a friend which led me to a blog called The MOB Society....for Mom's of boys, by Mom's of boys (http://www.themobsociety.com/) This blog is amazing and is doing a 21 days of prayer for sons. I am taking the challenge and posting my first blog in almost 18 months to brag about the 2 little men in my life.

Little Man #1 JAKE- my 4 year old, sensitive, playful, creative and loving little guy!!! His favorite place on earth is my parent's farm. He loves feeding the chickens, collecting chicken eggs, riding the mule, and digging in the dirt. Here he is feeding the longhorns. I sometimes find him just sitting and looking out at the beauty of the land. He has a true appreciation for God's creations, even at the ripe old age of 4. He teaches me to stop, enjoy, and be thankful! 
He adores his big sister and is always full of compliments...."Mary Grace, you look pretty today!" The way he looks up to her with pride in his heart is breathtaking. Jake allows MG to do what she does best...be in charge!!!!

Jake says his prayers each night and ends it with "God, we send You all of our prayers because you are GOOD, HOLY, STRONG and MIGHTY!!!!" (imagine God's compliments with increased volume as that is Jake's style!!!)

Little Man #2 Cal- my sweet baby...who isn't such a baby anymore! When your baby can say "I not a baby, I a BIG BOY!!!" I guess one has to give up the fight and let one's baby grow up!!! Cal turned 2 in late January but thinks he is 4 (just like his big brother!) He also thinks he can ride a bike, run fast, catch a baseball, hit a baseball, etc...."just like JAKE!!!" This little man is determined, strong, independent, SMART, funny and loving.

Cal's favorite place on earth is anywhere his big brother and sister are. He loves to wrestle with Jake, snuggle with MG, read stories with Daddy, play transformers and pretend he is a lion. Cal knows all the words to "Jesus Loves Me" and after we kiss good night that is the song he wants to sing.

My prayer for these little men is that they grow into (insert Jake's voice here!!!) "Good, Holy, Strong, and Mighty" men always looking to and trusting God. My cup runneth over for these boys!!!!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Just Another Saturday Morning at the Bacsik House

(Law and Order Theme Music)

In the Bacsik family, the members are represented by 2 separate but equally important groups: the children, who usually create chaos; and the parents who battle through the chaos and manage to survive. These are their stories...... BUM! BUM!

5:58am Sleeping peacfully, dreaming of a beach in Italy....

5:59am "Luke!" (silence), back to dream....Beach, Italy, however now someone is screaming...Luke?!?!

6:00am "Luke Skywalker! I can't find it!"

Jake is awake.

Stumble down the stairs to find Jake's newest obsession- Luke Skywalker.

Find Luke! Proactive- find all Star Wars figures!

To the kitchen...must start the coffee or won't....be....able....to....do....anything.....else.

6:04 MG wanders in- "Mom, I'm thirsty."

Make 2 orange juices, say a prayer the baby stays asleep a little longer, start load of laundry.

"Mom, I want to pee pee in the potty!"

Help Jake take off diaper and pee pee in the potty.

Deliver the orange juices- "we are hungry!"

Turn on a cartoon, find Luke again, back to the kitchen to make toast.

Deliver toast with jelly to the big kids- "we wanted waffles!"

Deliver mean look, the kids eat their toast!

Feed dog, paint 8 t-shirts for MG's school christmas program, pray Cal keeps sleeping.

7:15am Mike wanders in- kisses little heads watching cartoons, complains that he can't sleep with all the screaming.

Mike drops a pan in the kitchen.......Baby AWAKE!

Make a bottle, check email while he drinks it, another load of laundry.

8:00am No Milk....Mike to grocery store.

8:15 MG wants to color....get out coloring books. Unload dishwasher.

Set Cal in high chair with some fruit.

Make toast and finally warm up the cup of coffee I poured at 6:15am.

Cal eats his fruit, half of MY toast and feeds the other peice of toast to the dog.

*****The above events are a very typical day at our house....the below takes place in 15 minute time span all before 8:30am on a Saturday. All events are real, no embelishment needed****
Get coffee out of microwave, MG yells "Mom! Look!"
Turn to look, hit coffee cup against cabinet- mug shatters and coffee EVERYWHERE!
Jake runs in (wearing underwear, not a diaper) yelling "POOOOOOOOOP! I have to poop!"
Run with Jake to the bathroom.....too late.
Set Jake on potty, clean up poop and hear MG in the kitchen telling Cal to sit down.
Run into kitchen....Cal standing in high chair. Grab Cal and run back to check on Jake.
Remember coffee, shattered coffee mug and little barefoot girl in kitchen, run back to kitchen to at least clean up the glass.
Send MG to check on boys in bathroom.
MG returns saying "Don't worry, everything is OK in there. Jake is sitting on the big potty and Cal has the training potty on his head."
Just remembered Jake went pee pee in little potty before I set him on big potty....run to bathroom to find Cal covered in pee pee.
Deep breath!
Quick sponge bath for Cal, change his clothes, change his poopy diaper.
Diaper for Jake! not ready to potty train without my coffee!
Jake crying because he thinks Cal swallowed Yoda's head.
Reassure Jake that Yoda's head is somewhere besides Cal's tummy. Load dishwasher.
MG dressed, clean up coffee mess, another load of laundry, pay a bill.
8:30am Deep breath, look around at the chaos, smile........because this is my life and I love it! Say quick prayer of thanks for the 3 wonderful blessings God gave us.
8:31am Pour myself a new cup of coffee, hug my kids, and laugh! Because some days that is all we can do.