With a heavy heart and a plea for prayers, I am writing this post today. My brother, who is a writer, posted a very straight forward and extremely honest post yesterday. I'm going to ask you to please go to his blog to get some background, before reading on any further. http://definingaudacity.com/2012/05/14/mothersdayhell
I AM NOT a writer so bare with me....Drew thought that writing would help. I could not find the "right words" so I am getting some of the truth from the only place I know where truth exists....The Bible.
I AM a girl who likes a quick fix, a sprinter, a "put a band aide on it" type. I ran a marathon (back in 1999) but would much rather run the 100 yard dash.
When we got the call last Wednesday night about my brother John using Meth, my thoughts popped right to...."How can we fix this? What is the quickest way to get help? He will be better soon, right? 30 days, right?"
If you read Drew's blog you know about the events that took place on Mother's Day. His description is very accurate, but what I didn't know at that time was that is was just the starting line. The race my family and I just begun is going to long and exhausting. It will be a marathon, not a sprint.
A marathon takes preparation, healthy intake, and "having heart."
I'll start with preparation. How does one prep for a family member on meth? I copied a scripture down a few months ago, knowing I would need it at some time in my life....I just didn't know I would need it so soon. It is from the book of Lamentations which is made up of 5 poems, all expressing grief over the fall of Jerusalem. This book in the bible has graphic depictions of suffering.
The suffering and grief my family has been through the last 5 days does not compare to a "fall of a city" but it may be the closest thing we will ever know!!! The suffering my brother John if facing as a result of the meth is profound....although he can't even see or feel it. This verse is for my sweet family, especially for John.
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."
The 2nd step to a successful marathon is "healthy intake." I spent the day after John's unsuccessful intervention very angry, sad, exhausted...basically heartbroken. The intake from Sunday was anything but "healthy" which carried over into my day on Monday. My mind, heart and spirit were UGLY!!!! I made a promise to myself before I went to bed last night: to not just ignore evil and evil thoughts but to actively expel them, replacing them with God's word. My "healthy intake" will be the words spoken from God. I'll start with these words.
Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.
The third and final step- Having heart....that's the key to winning the race. A person can train and prepare but if the heart isn't in it, they won't even finish. My heart is in this.....although it was broken to pieces, it is not gone. I will gradually put the pieces back together with the help of my family and friends; with the prayers and kind words which have already come to me; with faith. Please keep them coming!!!! I can't do it on my own. When my heart is weak, I'll need others to be strong for me!
2 Corinthians 12:9
...."My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Prayer is defined as an earnest or urgent request or a reverent petition to God. MY FAMILY IS IN NEED OF PRAYER!!!! MG wrote this out for me this morning which I shared with a friend. My friend stated "The prayers we need to pray are simple, like this."
So I am asking for simple prayers.....
1) Pray for John, for clarity of the love our family has for him, that God has for him; that he will seek help; that he will stop using meth.
2) Pray for Koko (his wife) for strength and courage.
3) Pray for protection for our family from God's enemy!
4) Pray for strength and endurance for this marathon.
5) Pray for our sweet spouses- Mike, Tanya (Drew's wife) and Scott (Allie's husband)- that they will not get weary carrying some extra burden as our family is healing...all the while needing to grieve themselves.
6) Pray for me....."help me to love my family members well and to be thankful for them!!! Show me ways I can serve and love them better." Thanks MG!!!